brassblogs

So, in the last post, I tried to tell you the stuff that led up to this series of posts. I ended it with a list of rules that have defined my business to this point, and now I’ll begin examining that list and picking it apart.

I’m going to keep it simple, and start with Rule Number One: Getting Personal.

The rule, as defined in (what will be hereinafter called) “The List” was as follows:

Always remain professional, and don’t try to “get too personal” with your clients or colleagues, because they will always find a way to use it against you.

The first time I heard this rule was when I went to work for an attorney in my hometown. The firm was – in my hometown – THE law firm to go to for any reason. One attorney did very high-profile cases – pretty famous in our town for getting a convicted murderer released from prison with a DNA test that proved he didn’t do it. Another attorney was an expert in senior law: wills, living wills, that kind of thing. And the third was who I was hired for: the real estate attorney. I worked in the office as the front desk receptionist, and handled stuff like title searches and the like. There were 5 other women in the office who respectively did what I did, and I’d gotten the job because of my mother – who was the first to tell me this rule.

“I love them all, but they love to gossip,” she said, “and the people they gossip about are big fish here. Do not get caught up in it – do not join in, don’t give your opinion, and stay out of it as much as you can, because it’ll come back and bite you.”

The second time I heard it was when I was the Assistant Director of Dining Services at a private college. I was new on the job, an had never actually been in a position where I could hire and fire people before. My direct boss was a terrific woman, who happened to overhear me at lunch with my employees, just chatting it up. She pulled me aside and said:

“It’s okay to buddy it up with them to keep them in line – but never forget to remind them that you are their boss. Don’t get too friendly. Don’t eat lunch with them anymore – sit with management. And most of all, don’t tell them any ‘wild’ stories – they’ll use it against you as soon as they get the chance.”

Over the years – even after starting my own business – I received this same advice in one form or another: don’t get too personal, it’ll always come back against you. It’s been a rule I’ve tried to live by in my business for the last eight years. I’ve kept my personal blogs separated from my business site, and I’ve even kept – until recently – my “help” stuff on a separate site as well.

Now I’ll tell you the problem with Rule Number One – at least as it applies to me.

I find such a rule to be cynical, judgmental and ineffective. To me, it says “Always expect the worst,” and it’s one of those “glass half empty” things. It’s difficult to apply this rule to me, because I’m more of a “glass half full” kind of girl. I trust and believe in people until they prove me wrong. Yes, I still believe the saying “innocent until proven guilty.” I’m a freak like that. I just feel the Rule Number One is like living in fear of everything – and you just can’t do that.

I understand that it has its place. But I think to live without personal interaction is… heartless.

I have also noticed that – as mentioned in the last post – you get what you give. Over the past year or so, I’ve stringently applied this Rule to my business, and I’ve noticed a trend: the clients I’ve been getting are impersonal, strictly down-to-business and without much humor. (A note all: These particular clients are no longer clients of mine, and this is not meant as an insult in the least – just an observation.) Now, I have nothing against being this way. It’s just not the way I am. But I find it interested that as soon as I stood up and started following the advice of Rule Number One, my client base changing, and my stress levels elevated beyond anything you can imagine. I was no longer having fun at work – and that’s a key point of my business. I believe fun does belong in the workplace just as much as seriousness does. As it goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

So what have I learned? The types of clients I want to have are those that appreciate the sentiment of “fun in the workplace.” Now, this does not mean that I want to be able to banter blonde jokes back and forth until one of us busts a gut and gets nothing done, and then they hang up wondering if I can do my job. But with no personality to my professionalism, I get clients that have that same mindset – and they really mean it. I have found that a client that cannot chuckle at a small joke made, either at their expense or mine, is a client who needs a lot of hand-holding, has trust issues and generally needs to micro-manage. But the clients I’ve had in the past that would laugh at the words “Super Duty” understand me, and what I stand for. They understand that I know how to do my job, I can offer terrific advice on how to better their business through the web, and I can do what I say I will do, and because I’ve tossed my personality into the mix, that I care about my business, and through that, I care about theirs.

When you love your job and enjoy it, it shows. When you show interest in your clients, it makes them feel like they are “part of the team.” They don’t see you as an employee or an underling, they see you as a colleague, a resource of information, an expert. They respect you, and they know you respect them. Hand-holding is not needed as a rule, but when the exception comes around not only are you happy to do it, they are happy to let you; and if you have a difference of opinion one or the other doesn’t get angry or upset because you don’t see things their way (or mine.)

The saying goes “Fake it ’til you make it,” which is to act like you have what you want, pretend like you’re already doing it, and soon it’ll happen. The problem is, I’ve been following Rule Number One for my business, and “faking” like I’m the consummate professional, and that I don’t need that part of me that loves interaction and fun to make things work. As a result, I’ve had a lot of clients that take me for granted, refuse to accept me as a professional, see me as only an employee, and treat me as an underling.

So my conclusion is: Rule Number One has it’s place. Even as I write this, I’m concerned about what kind of return I’m going to get on exposing myself like this. But this is me, and I don’t want to pretend anymore to be something I am not. I want my business on my terms. My terms are to have a little more fun with my clients and to explore new things, and to have personality. And even though posting this article will take some people who were thinking of hiring me and turn them off from doing so, I believe that it will bring me a new type of client – the type I’ve already had interaction with but oh, so rarely.

I am my kind of professional. I am not the straight-laced “Yes sir!” kind of professional who lives by a strict set of rules an regulations. I’m more of the kind who will roll up her sleeves and slug through the mud now and then, smiling the whole way because the mud keeps away the mosquitoes. I don’t mind the digging in the hot sun – as long as I have someone who makes the job easier by having a great personality that can match mine.

I would really love to have other input on this. Have any of you experienced anything similar? If you did, and you changed, how did it work out for you? I’d love to know